actually will strt with the gud news, i spoke to shaykh riyad al haq i cnt believe he wud tok to sum low person like me i mean who am i?im crap yet he had time to speak to me and discuss the world of tariq ramadan that man has taken over my life!
may Allah reward the good shaykh!
o.k now about the depression i think it manifests in my sleeping patterns. i cannot for the life of me sleep at a reasonable hour. i think i dread sleep coz i knw that then there will b a new day, a new day closer to all my stupid deadlines!
if i was a glass half full person (which i normally am or at least use to be) i would see that every new day wud b a day closer to finishing this crap degree! but im not, im self pitying and wallow in my own grief, depression makes me frustrated and coz im frustrated im depressed, ah life!
omg i have like an over the email argument with my lecturer who is not only marking my dissertation but another 20 credit module!im officially guna fail now!
i loe being home i love my family but i am ready for the next stage in my life the whole marriage kids thing
im 21!!!!!!!!!21 and no baby i mean my biological clock is ticking! tick tock! did u know a women is born with all her eggs, no more new ones are created so with every month that passes im loosing potential babies!
omg i sound like a psyco bunny boiler woemn!!
im not i would just love a family of my own, but my current family are not interested!
they dnt wnt me to marry until im lyk 25, at which point il b to old and ugly for anyone to marry!
my family have refused every proposal that comes for me! im nervous about them to and i really dnt wana move but i have to marry sumday and if they keep saying no, i mean il run out of options, il have to marry a freshy, i dnt mind freshys but hw r they guna support me and my 7 kids and theyl have a freshy style of Islam which involves lokn me in the house! and calling me a modern muslim!aaaaaaghhhhhhh i hate that term!
my only joy now is my baby alisha!shes honestly a ray of sunshine shes always laughing and joking, her happiness has no ends, thats also becoz i spoil her rotten and giver he ahything she wnts!i sing and dance and jump around like a mad loonatic just to get her to eadt one bit of food!
oh man i have to sleep
will leave these mad thoughts for now
much love, make dua i learn to get happy, not just bouts of it but an inner fulfilment!
x
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
>stupid space bar isnot working properly!!<
What did Shaykh Riyadh-ulHAq have to say about Mr R? Your dissertation sounds v interesting btw.
im22 and unmarried and in that case i have less eggs than you!! Im not after a huge family so its ok,i think... if you want a family as big as yours nw then you had better get started like 2years ago!!
Post a Comment