happy days!

this is gonna be a truly happy entry!!!!!!
so heres a blog dedicated to all the happy things in life;
i love being home, i love my family, i love my alisha,
ive been shopping bought beautiful new clothes,
lost weight(the best thing)

heres all the NEW things iv done in a week!
had a belly dancing class, omg it hurt, my stomach hurt so bad!but its totally wiked and i think now im a seductress!wink wink!
went to a pilates class, did strange things with my body that will apparently help to strengthen my muscles and give me good posture!i felt well posh, like a new age modern women!
although during the class aside from the very strange movements it didnt feel at all like hard work, HAH! it was a trick coz for the last 2 days iv not been able to laugh or cough without bending over in pain!but this is not a complaint still smiling!

next week!
going to a spinning class, (the most intense excersize class known to man) apparently u can loose a couple of pounds per class! im scared, i may die, but oh it will be worth it!even tho i will be completely debilitated after so will prob put the weight bak on!

hm nothing else i can think of to report on...

so tara for now

bouts of deprssion

actually will strt with the gud news, i spoke to shaykh riyad al haq i cnt believe he wud tok to sum low person like me i mean who am i?im crap yet he had time to speak to me and discuss the world of tariq ramadan that man has taken over my life!
may Allah reward the good shaykh!
o.k now about the depression i think it manifests in my sleeping patterns. i cannot for the life of me sleep at a reasonable hour. i think i dread sleep coz i knw that then there will b a new day, a new day closer to all my stupid deadlines!
if i was a glass half full person (which i normally am or at least use to be) i would see that every new day wud b a day closer to finishing this crap degree! but im not, im self pitying and wallow in my own grief, depression makes me frustrated and coz im frustrated im depressed, ah life!
omg i have like an over the email argument with my lecturer who is not only marking my dissertation but another 20 credit module!im officially guna fail now!
i loe being home i love my family but i am ready for the next stage in my life the whole marriage kids thing
im 21!!!!!!!!!21 and no baby i mean my biological clock is ticking! tick tock! did u know a women is born with all her eggs, no more new ones are created so with every month that passes im loosing potential babies!
omg i sound like a psyco bunny boiler woemn!!
im not i would just love a family of my own, but my current family are not interested!
they dnt wnt me to marry until im lyk 25, at which point il b to old and ugly for anyone to marry!
my family have refused every proposal that comes for me! im nervous about them to and i really dnt wana move but i have to marry sumday and if they keep saying no, i mean il run out of options, il have to marry a freshy, i dnt mind freshys but hw r they guna support me and my 7 kids and theyl have a freshy style of Islam which involves lokn me in the house! and calling me a modern muslim!aaaaaaghhhhhhh i hate that term!
my only joy now is my baby alisha!shes honestly a ray of sunshine shes always laughing and joking, her happiness has no ends, thats also becoz i spoil her rotten and giver he ahything she wnts!i sing and dance and jump around like a mad loonatic just to get her to eadt one bit of food!
oh man i have to sleep
will leave these mad thoughts for now
much love, make dua i learn to get happy, not just bouts of it but an inner fulfilment!
x

greatest high and stupidest low

i was really happy for a bit, like ecstatically so, but stupid bloody freaky lecturer who shall not be stupid bloody be name coz hes creepy and will prob somehow have this blog adress and be checkn up my every move but i officially hate him!!!!!!!
i used to hate him in my first yr then ppl were sayn that hes o.k so then i strtd being polite but still weary of him. this yr he ws beign super nice while slowly melting the hate i felt for him, i ws still suspicious of his evil face but strtd to warm to this freaky awful bloke, then he emailed me today with the rudest email iv ever recieved ruining my seconds before amazing high of happiness!!!!!
what i was gonna wirte about to day was my happy news!!!!oh my gosh its to amazing for words. so i emailed shaykh riyadh al haq the toher, thanx kaifa got the website from ur blog, about my dissertation asking if he could email me anything he feels on tariq ramadan, but the shaykh himself has emailed back requesting that i ring and speak to him about the matter!!!!!!!
can anyone believe it im so..........in awe and actually terified omg what my gunna say, what if i get to embaressed to speak????
il have to talk mono tone to him i dotn know hot to talk omno tone i dont think im capable
any advice and tips would be gr8!!!

other news:
im home!!!!!!!im in newcastle with my family and my little baby alisha, she so cute, and been havn a fab time going out so busy not even obsessing about food!
wohooooooo inshallah will loose some weight just a few pounds, bought some new clothes cute tops
anyhow mothers home prob guna get yelled at for sumit so leave it here for today
mwah
xxxxxxx

chocalate?

heres my question to the world!
why has nobody created fat free chocalate?
i mean we can fly people to the moon, take pictures of mars, replace someones crap heart with some other dead persons good heart (how can a dead perosn have a good heart?)
anyway catch my drift, oh and japan has created robots that do stuff
so why oh why, my oh my he he
oh my point hang on im getting to it
right why hasnt nayone created fat free chocalate?? it really cant be that hard,
well theres my grumblings for the day
therz also my usual dissertation crap, arabic crap,
oh guess what i feel proper important i emailed tariq ramadan yesterday asking him why he speaks so that the average dumb ass in britian wouldnt understand a word he says when it them that he wants to get up and create a revolution?coz lets face it us dumb asses are msot of the population fo this country, there arnt that many people who wake up in the morning and use a 5 syllable word,
then i emailed shakyh riyadh ul haq asking him what he thinks about mr ramadan
i wonder if any of these important ppl will email bak???
im parleying with the big chiefs, please email me back oh big people!!!!

im in my final year of my final semester of uni, and everyone along with my self is wondering why i chose NOW to waste preciouse studyign time to join this trip down memory lane of a website!?answer: i have a serious condition, a terrible mental defect where i do everything in my power to avoid studying while simultaneously haveing heart attacks, panick attacks, and episodes of coplete paralysis due to the stress of NOT DOING ANY WORK in my final semester of my final year!phew!
how comes there aint even a nice shade of pink wots dat all about
u know wot this computer e diary stuff is complex, i already wrote a blog then somehow deleted it
dont have the energy to write it agen

currently feeling very stressed, have a funny burning sensation in my back think its another stress manifestation me thinks!

anyhow ciao for now
xxxxxxxx